ASSESSING AND AMELIORATING RISKS IN INTIMATE PARTNER RELATIONSHIPS AND FAMILIES
1 min read
Valentine’s Day, of course.
Now, what to gift for Valentine’s Day?
A quick internet search lists chocolate or other sweets, flowers, and a romantic dinner as the most common Valentine gifts. Sex toys are also on that list.
But are any of these what your sweetheart really wants?
Chocolate isn’t really a treat if you can buy it in the candy aisle of the drugstore or supermarket.
Is the only other time she gets flowers, when you’re trying to make up for something you did or should have done?
Dinner may be nice if you also arrange child care and the kids’ supper; and if she doesn’t “owe” you anything afterward.
And speaking of owing, lingerie or sex toys or pornography may be subtly, or not so subtly, coercive. Sometimes sex is too messy or too long or too short or too uncomfortable to be worth the effort.
So if you’re looking for an alternative way to say Happy Valentine’s Day, consider doing something that says you appreciate her and what she does. Do some of those everyday tasks she does to keep the household operating so that you don’t even have to pay attention to them.
This includes meals and clean-up; getting kids up and dressed and off to school, lessons, sports practice, playdates. There’s also all the invisible work of making appointments, reminding others of their own schedules, and making sure there’s enough toilet paper or cereal.
Maybe even make some or all of these tasks routinely your job instead of one day.
And remember this wisdom from a refrigerator magnet:
No woman ever shot a man while he was doing dishes.